We’re all guilty of self-sabotage in one way or another – whether it’s telling ourselves that we can’t accomplish something or letting our fears keep us from taking the next step. Everyone has their own poison that prevents them from achieving the things they always dreamed of.
To get past these obstacles, the first step is to make ourselves aware of them. Through mindfulness we can begin to recognize these behaviors as a choice, as something we can change. By changing our attitude, we change our future.
Many people consider astrology, numerology and older sciences like that to be very inaccurate or even unrealistic because they say that someone can be, for instance, too aggressive or too calm; too strong or too weak; too blunt or too political.
And it is completely true; humans are not black and white, we are gray. We are not fixed variables, we have good days and we have bad days.
Most importantly, you need two extreme points to form an idea, you need the weak and the strong to form the concept of strength. You will need the ugly and the beautiful to form the concept of beauty.
Without the slow, the fast isn’t fast.
Those extremes are necessary to give us an idea of measure; we need that to wrap our heads around an idea and tell ourselves if it’s good or bad.
And since we are all individuals, I can’t tell if you are over achieving or under achieving but they are both faces of the same coin, they are both different faces of the same flaw.
Before they even start something, most people already judge themselves to be capable or not. The viewpoint is hardly ever realistic.
I either hear: “No way I can do it” or “Piece of cake.” Both take an extreme stance on the situation; most likely the real answer is somewhere in the spectrum in between the two.
Yes, you can probably do it, but no, it will not be a piece of cake. Instead of judging a task or goal for your capability, simply try it. You may be surprised by the result.
Judging a situation by how it looks is the same thing as judging a book by its cover.
You can’t tell if it will be a very hard thing or an easy one. You can make an educated guess, but nothing in life is certain.
How many very good friends were once your worst enemy? How many loved ones were once that annoying boy/girl?
Life is very mysterious puzzle that we have to live moment by moment.
If you have no high expectations, hardly ever you will get disappointed. If you have no low expectations, hardly ever you will get surprised by a problem.
We are too worried by problems that might never happen – it is an evil that is deep rooted in this generation.
Social security, life, health, car, house, even pet insurance and so many other things prove our need for a safety net, you know, just in case.
Humans are very resilient creatures that have been able to survive and thrive through every obstacle that has been thrown at them since their origins.
Nowadays we live constantly worrying about a lot of things. Take a breath – everything will be ok!
If you worry too much with the future you get anxious, if you worry too much with the past you get depressive.
The secret is keep with the present, always. It will set more resources free emotionally, rationally and physically.
4. Unrealistic Expectations
There are the dreamers and the ultra realists. Personally, I’m surrounded by dreamers.
I have a friend that tells me, I will open this store and it will be a blast, and after a few months I will open another one, then in a couple months I will make it a franchise and that’s it, I’m rich.
If I ask his father, who is the total opposite, he will say it will take me one year to open this store, and couple more to pay for everything and after five years I will have saved some for sure so I can think about maybe opening another.
They are both entrepreneurs. My friend failed in more than 4 business endeavors, and his father has had one store for 30 years. He just opened the second one, which could be huge, but he doesn’t take enough risks.
Keep it real; judge the situation by what it is, not by what you think it is. On the other hand, don’t be afraid to take a jump when the time is right.
One of the most vicious problems is practically invisible to us. Honestly there is no good hint or a pre-made formula to get rid of this.
Everybody has traumas, experiences, and impressions – biases come from that naturally. It’s hard to tell when they help us or when they bury us.
The hint here is, again, realism.
Judge the situation or the person for what it is and how it will, objectively, affect the situation.
Don’t take it personally; sometimes the enemy of your enemy is you friend.
This is the hardest for me, because I’m a very, very emotional person.
Emotions are my most powerful weapon and my most powerful enemy. Through them I can achieve impossible things, like I already did many times.
And also they can suck my energy, my confidence and my skills out of me.
We all have had those days when our emotional state comes between us and our productiveness at work, or our relationship dynamic. Try to keep in mind that you own your emotions, not the other way around.
If you can fully control your emotions, you are already a powerful and highly capable person.
This is, more than ever, a problem for everybody. This is a greedy world and it only gets worst.
If you love your money too much you will never invest, spend or risk it. It takes away the freedom it is supposed to give you.
You work for it, it doesn’t work for you, as it should be.
And if you do not care at all, you always have financial problems and you are always broke.
Money it is not, by far, the most important thing in our lives, and also, by far, not the least.
Money is supposed to help you, not to stop you.
Ultimately if we pay attention to ourselves and the ways we prevent our own success, we’re already halfway there. After all, the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.
What obstacles do you create for yourself?