Failing is never easy. In fact, in our lives we will experience at least twice as many failures as we do successes. From missing the shot in a big game to a huge career fumble, the feeling of disappointment and temptation to self-criticize that follows is inevitable.
In times like these, we need a little change of perspective. A failure is almost always an opportunity for growth and learning. Here are some of the biggest lessons I’ve learned from not getting it right too many times to count.
1. Adversity is a game
This advice has been given before in a little different way here, it’s the key of transforming situations. People often frown their face to problems and obstacles, but the way we deal with tough situations is what separates the wheat from the chaff.
Stop looking at problems like they are bad things. Even though the collateral damage of facing them are not pleasurable, they are what make you or your idea evolve.
Don’t hate the game.
2. Don’t cry for things that don’t cry for you
Learning to deal with issues without emotional attachment, using object thinking, is the key for the long run. It doesn’t matter if they are people or situations; probably they don’t care if you fail or not, and they will still be there tomorrow.
3. Be reasonable
If this seems easy or obvious for you, it’s because you are doing it wrong. Being reasonable is an art.
Our brain has a thing for guessing and finding patterns.
Sometimes we already start making assumptions before we’ve even heard the whole thing or understood the overall situation.
4. If you can’t, someone can
Bill Gates sold the Windows OS without even having it. He heard about a guy that might have something like what he needed.
Facing his lifetime opportunity, IBM’s millionaire proposal, selling his software in their machines as a package, he didn’t have it ready.
That took real guts. He found someone that had the software he needed, and well…Bill Gates…
5. Don’t hate the other players
Honestly, jealousy is good…that is, when it makes you work to achieve more, to have more, to be more.
Use it as a guide for the next step, for choosing a role model and setting a plan.
Jealousy is also a powerful thing; use it, but don’t be consumed by it.
6. You are stronger than you think
Humans are very resilient and adaptable machines.
The news, your parents, your beliefs, your traumas, and your failures built a insanely big complex that loves to auto-sabotage you. We have far more mental mechanisms to say that we can’t than to say that we can.
If you don’t believe me, well, Obama could.
Not defending political parties or anything, but he was the first in his position to achieve the most powerful status in the world. Racism, opposition, intrigue and endless variables didn’t take him down in a very hard situation.
Hardly ever you will encounter such a challenge, therefore, there isn’t anything you can’t overcome.
7. Be present
Anxiety is the excess of future in your mind, and depression is the excess of past.
Don’t let those irrelevant factors suck your energy. Don’t underestimate them;, they are the killer factors of this generation.
The outcome of a situation is based on infinite variables that change every day.
Every try is a clean slate.
8. Life is movement
You don’t even need to try to fail, you only need to do nothing.
If you failed already, why bother caring about the output? When you try, you create a possibility of success.
If you keep trying, success is only a matter of time, its math.
9. Care or Dare
If you don’t care, you won’t give all you’ve got. It’s a fact.
If it doesn’t excite you, if it doesn’t challenge you, probably it won’t engage your full potential.
While teaching martial arts I realized that the students had a noticeable increase of evolution when performing challenging exercises or exercises that had personal importance compared to normal day to day practices.
10. Take the initiative
The problems will be there tomorrow, ignoring them won’t solve them.
Taking them with you will only cause a displacement and will enforce a self-defeating mechanism in your mind, and also, they will be in the new place tomorrow.
There will be always problems, but the important thing is learning how to master them instead of letting them master you.
If you start the race first, you improve your chances of arriving first.